seriously. i have no money to pay my phone bill til tomorrow b/c i've been dealing with this annoying company for like seven months using a phone i hate. well, needless to say, with my clumsiness, i dropped one of the phones that we ended up replacing and the screen shattered. so now we owe $100 for the deductible for that on top of the phone bill. so my phone is turned off til tomorrow! what is that?! i'm sorry but that just makes me feel....idk....not good. i don't want to be that person, but what am i supposed to do when i can't work v.much?! so my guy has to pay the money and then on friday, when i get some sort of paycheck, then i'll pay him back. 
but the problem is that today i was actually super motivated. i was going to make a ton of phone calls and now all i can do is email. bleh.


but i'm getting further along with my book and i'm super excited about it. i wrote a bit about it on my writing blog.


i also had something totally crazy happen last night and my guy CANNOT believe how i reacted to it. or rather, my lack of reaction to it. my fog has been beyond horrible and i'm just in a stupor.
i'm overfed and hormonal and just totally out of it.
i mean, who forgets two things for their child in less than one hour? (did i write about that the other day?) and then what i did, which i can't write just, well, just because....it was so stupid and ditzy and i still don't even really care. and it's kind of a big deal. like really. but whatever. i have other things to worry about, you know. i'm in bed right now, about to leave to take the kid to school. 


yeah, so i'm back. actually cleaned up the garage a little bit and ate something. something real. and i got out the chicken Now so that it's thawed by the time i get ready to make the chop suey or whateveritis i'm making. i already forgot and i just looked at it lol


now i'm chatting with a friend about the craziness that is our lives (she's going through disability stuff, as well, but for different reasons -- yet another invisible illness, though, which is just no fun) and i'm trying to finish this blog, and i'm re-working the query my author friend was awesome enough to rip apart, as well as re-working a certain part of my concept because it just needs to be done (again...info on my writing blog). man, how freaking bad is it that i don't even remember if i've mentioned it here or not?
i've had fog a lot, but it's just RIDICULOUS lately. seriously..
part of me feels like there's not much point in writing b/c i don't even know what i'm saying :P


ok, so i DIDN'T write on here what i'm doing with the book.
i had a conversation with the man last night and he just didn't understand the fogginess/fuzziness and my general 


um...idk what i was saying. b/c i was writing this yesterday and just stopped haha


i'm thinking it was that he doesn't understand my general zombie-like attitude. cause that's pretty much how i am. granted, i'm up on anti-depressants b/c of my HRT, but if i didn't have that higher dose, wow... i'm still sort of on edge.


anyway, i'm ending this now because i have a PLAN for this blog!! a good one. you shall see :))
all my zero readers haha....

soon!!! =D


btw...it was sweet and sour chicken i made haha. and it was good!

so after i spent too much time on my feet, i did the same the v.next day. my guy was off -- his only day off this week, so i ran tons of errands and didn't even get to start working on anything until almost 8pm. 
then yesterday, i dropped my girl off at school and went to the grocery and then went and got a pumpkin. our new desk chairs arrived (thank God!! they're amazing!), so i put those together.
i got a decent amount of work done, but then realized my first disability appointment is monday....not the 18th, like i'd thought.
not a clue why i would have mixed up dates that are nothing alike, but it's the name of the game, right?!


one thing that's really good is i have a writer friend..well, acquaintance, who is willing to help me with my book proposal. i've been putting most of my effort into that lately and i'm just so excited for it! the passion i feel for it....
i felt that passion (and still do) for my novel, but this is something that's more than just entertainment. 
my only problem is platform.
i'm trying to get articles prepared..at least queries, but as of yet, i don't have non-fiction about lupus published. plenty of non-fiction, but only like two or three about lupus and fibromyalgia.
which i had actually forgotten about those, so yay me for writing this and remembering. i can put that in my proposal as part of the platform!! nice to know those are out there! i got paid for them, so it's safe to say i'm a published author about lupus when it comes down to it....no matter how little i've written =D
that makes me happy.
especially after the wake-up call i got. have to go in to see the dr about my test results tomorrow. last time that happened, it wasn't good news. except this time, it's for something totally different. i'll talk about it after the fact.
i like not to worry unless there's a reason. i'll get nervous just before i go, but until then...what can i do?! nothing at all....
so i'll keep busy, do my work, carve my pumpkin with my kiddo tomorrow since there's no school. family is in town. two birthdays coming up. my gparent's 60th anniversary today. lots to distract myself with. 
andandand...best part... dishes are done and so is laundry!!!!


so today, i truly get to relax. well, i have a lot of work to do, but i can sit doing it. which i need. b/c if i went another day pushing myself....i can already feel it a bit. i need this day to relax and i'm ohsograteful for it =D


in other news, i came up with a title for my book, and i do believe it's pretty awesome, if i do say so myself. not divulging yet, but soon enough...


maybe i'll write more later. for now, i have work to do and not much to say....